Kui;s»«;i»jur<«<^?>9>:i^%s«<3%y' 



im^m itmmimm ^ti 



«'*6«s ^ vf isfp-sis '#*«ci ^,: ■•'<«> »& jg* j^^, •&. "e* 






SONGS 



OF LIVING 



WlL-nm CAKHIEE 



I — i|[d][c 



D C 



1 n I — I 



®t|^ S^mnn 



D 



D 



anb 



®Ijf iarltttg of ttjf Ci^oJiB 



I 



D 



D 



®0mrJiu 



n 



D 



To Aid in Lowering the Cost of Living 



WILBUR CARRIER 



I — i| [d][c 



null 



3][d1 |e=iii 



D 






BY WILBUR CARRIER 



Copyright 1913 by J. Wii^bur Carrier 

International Copj^rights Secured 



All rights reser\^ed in all countries except that the 
songs may be sung when not sung for profit. 

Right of recitation and playwright are specifically 
reserved. 

PUBLISHED BY 

J. WILBUR CARRIER 

Room 706, Title and Trust Building, Chicago, U. S. A. 



Twenty-five cents per copy by mail — no stamps ac- 
cepted — send money order, or wrap coin on all sides 
in a piece of newspaper and then wrap in heavy paper 
( preferably thin pasteboard) of the length of the letter. 






'Ci.b 34100 



THE DEMON 



AND 



The Darling of the Gods 

A DRAMA 
By WILBUR CARRIER 



Act I. — The Dutchman and the Demon and the Darl- 
ing of the Gods. 

Act IL— The Woman and the Lawyer and the Darling 
of the Gods. 

Act III.— The Doctor and the Lawyer and the Darling 
of the Gods. 

Act IV.— The Bible Class. 

Act v.— The People's Goat. 



Heading for the programs that are to be distributed 
to the audience: 

Act I is a Farce. The conclusion of the Farce illus- 
trates figuratively the present condition of the public. 

Acts II and III form a Comedy. The conclusion of 
the Comedy illustrates -figuratively the hoped-for condi- 
tion of the. public. 

Acts IV and V form a Social Problem Play, /or which 
the Farce and the Comedy are an introduction and a 
preparation. 

At first the devil and afterwards the devil-lawyer is 
the evil genius of the play. In the play as a whole, the 
devil represents the evil, grafting spirit that animates the 
trusts and all those who bleed the public. In the farce 
and the comedy, the Dutchman represents the public. 
In the Social Problem Play, the clerk and his family are 
representatives of the public. The goat is the people's 
goat. 



ACT I.— A FARCE. 

TH^ DUTCHMAN AND TH^ DEMON AND THE DARLING OF 

THE GODS. 

A large Dutchman enters, dressed somewhat like a 
stage Dutchman and somewhat like a German- American. 

Dutchman (bows). — Some philosophers told you that 
you are living too high. To help you reduce the cost 
of high living, I will chant a little song. 

When the Demon saw the Dutchman 

He didn't like his looks, 

And said that he'd give him 

Five hundred and seven years 

Of sauer-kraut and ashes — 

But he hasn't got him yet — 

But he hasn't got him yet. 

When the Dutchman saw the Demon 
He wasn't scared a bit; 
And laughed to hear him say, 
**Five hundred and seven years 
Of sauer-kraut and ashes !" 
For he hasn't got him yet — 
For he hasn't got him yet. 

(A devil enters chanting. The devil has horns, feet 
that suggest cloven feet, and a tail.) 

Devil — When the Dutchman goes below, 
And the Demon gets his due. 
He'll give that Dutchman 
Five hundred and seven years 
Of sauer-kraut and ashes ! 

Dutchman — But he hasn't got him yet — 

But he hasn't got him yet. 
Devil — Not yet but soon. 



Dutchman (looking at the devil and laughing) — ^When 
the devil saw the Dutchman, he didn't like the looks 
of the darling. I'm not scared a bit. I can whip any 
devil I ever saw, and I can whip you. 

(They fight with varying success with ddrk, knotted 
staffs made from the branches of trees. Then the Dutch- 
man throws down his staff.) 

Dutchman — I can whip you with my bare fists — 
American style. 

(They put up their fists, and prepare to fight. After 
a little equal fighting, the devil has a decided advantage. 
Then, the devil hits the Dutchman a number of hard 
blows, and forces him backward across the stage. The 
Dutchman in turn forces back the devil with several 
blows, and finally doubles him up and sends him reeling 
backward with a heavy blow in the stomach.) 

Dutchman {laughing) — Even good people don't like 
to see the devil getting all the dividends ! 

(The Dutchman forces the devil back and chases him 
about the stage. Then the devil turns on the Dutchman 
and gives him rough usage.) 

Dutchman — If you chase the devil, he may catch you ! 

(After some more fighting, the devil strikes the Dutch- 
man a heavy blow on the jaw, and then holds the hand 
that struck the blow as though it were hurt. The Dutch- 
man holds his hand to his jaw for an instant, and then 
his face brightens.) 

Dutchman — The devil struck the Dutchman and hit 
him on the jkw, but it didn't hurt him any — the devil 
broke his fist! 

(A goat enters with ribbons and adjustable bells on it 
horns and in a red jacket marked on each side, The 
Darling of the Gods. The goat is trained to rear on its 
hind legs, to paw the air, to nod its head, and to do other 
tricks.) 



THE DEMON AND THE 



Dutchman — Ah ! The darling of the gods ! Welcome, 
darling. (Speaks to the devil.) Here, take up the goat. 

(The devil refuses, and the Dutchman lifts up the 
goat on its hind legs.) 

Dutchman — I took up a task that even the devil 
rejected. 

(The Dutchman makes the goat perform its tricks. 
He then kneels on one knee beside the rearing goat, and 
makes amusing gestures with the forelegs of the goat 
while he sings and the goat nods its head.) 

The Mascot Goat. 

I'm the children's friend and the sailor's mate, 
In the mock parade I ride in state — 

If you sail or you row, 

I bring luck as you know — 
I'm a mascot wherever I go. 

I'm a mascot wherever I go — 
I'm a mascot wherever I go — 
In the regions above or the realms below, 
I'm a mascot wherever I go. 

The admiral's frown when butted down 
Amuses me, for don't you see, 

Though '^Ad" may be 

Of high degree, 
I'm more secure than he. 

I'm more secure than he — 
I'm more secure than he — 
Though "Ad" may be of high degree, 
I'm more secure than he. 

(The Dutchman rises to sing the rest of the song, and 
the goat rears and paws the air, or does other appropriate 
tricks, at each chorus,) 



DARLING OF THE GODS 



I bring you fame in the baseball game — 
He wins who holds to me. 
It is luck for all 
In the game of ball, 
When you keep your nerve and me. 

When you keep your nerve and me — 
When you keep your nerve and me — 
It is luck for all in the game of ball, 
When you keep your nerve and me. 

When you grasp the cue your misses are few. 
When you keep your nerve and me 

Your ball rolls true 

The whole game through, 
When you keep your nerve and me. 

When you keep your nerve and me — 
When you keep your nerve and me — 
Your ball rolls true the whole game through, 
When you keep your nerve and me. 

The victory nigh lifts the spirits high. 
And to rush you back they vainly try — 

What a flow of soul 

When he kicks a goal ! 

You win for you hold to me. 

You win for you hold to me — 
You win for you hold to me — 
What a flow of soul when he kicks a goal ! 
You win for you hold to me. 

In the boxing game, they shout your name 
Till you lose your hold on me — 

Then the glooms get you 

And your money too, 
When you lose your hold on me. 



8 THE DEMON AND THE 

(The goat drops down with its legs doubled under it 
and with its head to the Hoor and bleats.) 

When you lose your hold on me — 
When you lose your hold on me — 
The glooms get you and your title too, 
When you lose your hold on me. 

(The goat rolls over on its back, and waves its legs, and 
bleats.) 

Terry lost for he lost me — 
Terry lost for he lost me — 
He was all at sea when in lack of me — 
Terry lost for he lost me. 

(Repeat this chorus.) 

If you seek to gain wealth, health, or fame, 
Then hold your grip and me. 
If you lose your grip 
All things will slip — 
Then hold your grip and me. 

i 

When you hold your grip and your goat ! 
When you hold your grip and your goat ! 
O, the joys that rise as you grasp the prize, 
• When you hold your grip and your goat ! 

When you don't let them get your goat ! 

When you don't let them get your goat ! 

O, the joys that rise as you grasp the prize, 

When you don't let them get your goat ! 

Devil — Did you notice that the price of goats has 
raised ? Never did ? Well ! The price of goat meat has 
raised — ask your butcher! 



DARLING OF THE GODS 



(The Dutchman sings.) 

Thk People's Goat. 

When the Packers raised the price of meat, 
You and yours were completely beat. 
Their graft was great, as you did note, 

For they stole your coin and got your goat — 
For they stole your coin and got your goat. 

The cries of the poor made a piteous plea, 
But they heeded not in their merry glee; 
For the Packers' camp had Aladdin's lamp, 
When they got your coin and me. 

(The goaf drops down with its legs doubled under it and 
its head to the floor, and bleats.) 

When they got your coin and me — 
When they got your coin and me — 
The Packers' camp had Aladdin's lamp. 
When they got your coin and me. 

(The goat rolls over on its back, waves its legs, and 
bleats.) 

When they got your coin and your goat! 

When they got your coin and your goat! 

The Packers' camp had Aladdin's lamp, 

When they got your coin and your goat! 

{Repeat this chorus.) 

Devil — Well! I never did anything like that! 

Dutchman — ^Your name is Ananias! Your brother 
started the scheme, and you helped it along. 

Once upon a time, an avaricious shoemaker borrowed 
a fellow workman's wax. At first he said, "Lend me 
'your' wax." Later he spoke of "our" wax. After a while 
he said, "Who's got 'my' wax?" 

Devil — I never did anything like that either! 

Dutchman — You are Ananias the second time! You 
tempted that man to claim his brother's property. (Turns 
to the audience.) 



20 THE DEMON AND THE 

This is a Dutch goat, but first he was an Irish goat. 
Straight! (Nods his head.) Straight Dutch-Irish joke! 
Mike McCarty raised him. When his boys were not 
fighting one another, they teased the goat. Back of 
Mike's place was a footbridge over a stream, and the 
boys would tease the goat until it charged them on to 
this bridge. The little rascals had a board to which 
they had fastened some rubber car springs stolen from 
the railroad company. They would raise this board on 
the bridge, and then the goat charging like a white streak 
would strike the rubber, bound up into the air, and fall 
splash into the water. That tickled the boys, and Mike 
nearly died laughing when he first saw it. One day 
the devil, just to make trouble, tempted Mike to play 
that little game himself as a joke on the goat. But 
Mike was not so nimble as the boys, as he stooped to 
raise the board, the goat caught him — and Mike sold 
that goat to me. 

(The Dutchman beats time on his hand as he sings, and 
the goat rears.) 

Mike sold that goat to me — 
Mike sold that goat to me — 
When he saw stars and the son of Mars, 
Mike sold that goat to me. 

Mike sold that goat to me — 
Mike sold that goat to me — 
Yes ! when he saw stars and the son of Mars, 
Mike sold that goat to me. 

(Repeat this chorus.) 

Devil — That is a true story. I was there. 

Dutchman — So Mike said ! and Mike told me that that 
imp of Satan was a discredit to the old Nick himself! 

Mike and the goat and even the devil are witnesses 
to this story. 



DARLING OF THE GODS U 

Devil — I have been a witness before. 

Dutchman (looking sidewise at the devil) — I know you 
have ! The lawyer on my wife's side hired you. 

(The devil gives the Dutchman a vicious ram in the 
side with his horns. The Dutchman holds his hands to 
the hurt, and makes a grimace of pain.) 

Dutchman — That makes the devil wag his tail! I'd 
just like to have a dollar's worth of demons! I believe 
he's incorporated ! 

(At a motion from the Dutchman, the Dutchman, devil, 
and goat stand in a line, facing the audience.) 

Dutchman (in low voice) — ^Wait till I get hold of the 
coat tail of .that demon. (The demon has no coat.) 

(The Dutchman and the devil put up their fists, and at 
a nod from the Dutchman they both strike at imaginary 
enemies in front while the goat rears, paws the air, and 
nods.) 

Dutchman — Fighting against the world! 

(All three turn their backs to the audience, and fight 
at imaginary enemies at the rear of the stage. Then 
the devil, grinning, turns round toward the audience, and 
with hand to mouth speaks in a stage whisper while 
pointing at the other two that are still fighting backward.) 

Devil — When the Dutchman saw that the battle was 
going against him, he turned about and fought against 
himself in order to be on the winning side ! 

(While all three are turning to face the audience, the 
Dutchman treads heavily on the devil's foot. The devil 
stands on one foot and holds the hurt foot with both 
hands while his face is conculsed with pain.) 

Dutchman {laughing) — The Dutchman didn't see the 
devil, and stepped upon his toe. 

Devil {trying to put his weight on the hurt foot) — 
That makes me feel faint. 



\2 THE DEMON AND THE 

Dutchman — I notice you don't wag your tail. 

Devil — My big brother will get you! He'll sauer- 
kraut your ashes! 

(All three stand in line facing the audience, the goat 
rearing.) 

Dutchman (bows) — You have seen the Dutchman, the 
demon, and the darling of the gods; and the darling 
was a mascot. If you should ever see a woman, a 
lawyer, and the darling of the gods, you may know 
that the darling is in trouble. 

(All three bow and turn to leave the stage, the Dutch- 
man leading the goat. The devil snatches the goat and 
runs off the stage with it, meanwhile grinning at the 
Dutchman. The Dutchman chafes the devil.) 

Dutchman — Stop him! Stop him! 

(The Dutchman stops, puts his hands on his knees, and 
doubles up in agony as he looks after the disappearing 
goat.) 

Dutchman — The devil's got my goat ! The devil's got 
my goat! 



ACT II. 

TH^ WOMAN AND THE LAWYER AND THE DARLING OF THE 

GODS. 

Characters of the Comedy in Acts II and III. 

Oscar Meyers, the Dutchman (the German- American 
of Act I), a teaming contractor. 

Agnes, his first wife (-an American). 

Rose, his second wife (an American). 

The doctor. 

A devil-lawyer. 



The Darling of the Gods (The Mascot Goat). 



DARLING OF THE GODS 13 



(The Dutchman and his zvife are seated in a) room of 
their home. Margaret is playing with toys on the iioor, 
and the goat is standing near by. The Dutchman is 
dressed in his home clothes.) 

Dutchman — Don't you and Margaret want to take a 
trolley ride and a walk with me, Agnes ? I am going to 
see my foreman at his home, and you can visit with Mrs. 
Jones for an hour while we talk about the teaming. 

lyife—l should like to go— the country is pretty now 
—but I haven't finished my work yet. You might take 
Margaret. 

Margaret (running to her father) — Yes, papa, take me.. 

Dutchman— AW right, little girl, you shall have a 
trolley ride, but it isn't time yet. Let's see if our mascot 
has forgotten his tricks. Come here, Toney. (Makes 
the goat perform some tricks.) Take a ride, Margaret, 
on the goat. That is as good as a trolley ride. (Sets 
the child on the goat and leads the goat about the room.) 
Ged dap! Show your speed, Toney! You ride like a 
little circus girl ! Wasn't that a fine ride ! ( Tosses the 
child in the air and sets her on her feet.) 

Wife — Oscar, sing me a goat song. 

Dutchman — I don't know any more. 

Wife^O, don't be bashful— be a good fellow. I feel 
just like listening to a song. 

(The Dutchman goes to the front of the stage to sing. 
He kneels beside the rearing goat, and makes motions 
with its fore legs.) 

Thh Mascot Goat. 

His owner's pride now strikes his stride — 
Along the race course swift they glide. 

Now records go — 

All else seem slow — 

I'm his mascot you must know. 



J4 THE DEMON AND THE 

That win was due to me — 
Vm his mascot now you see — 
As the crowds do know when the records go, 
I'm his mascot now you see. 

(Repeat this chorus.) 
(The Dutchman now rises, and at each succeeding 
chorus the goat rears.) 

If a poor hand you hold, you must then be bold — 
Just keep your nerve and me. 
To bad luck atone. 
Or to go it alone. 
Just keep your nerve and me. 

Just keep your nerve and me — 
Just keep your nerve and me — 
To bad luck atone, or to go it alone, 
Just keep your nerve and me. 

If you are running lame in an uphill game, 
Just keep your nerve and me. 

The last may be first — 

You may win the purse — 
Just keep your nerve and me. 

If you lose your sails, or your motor fails, 
Just keep your nerve and me. 

If you have pluck 

You can change your luck! 
Just keep your nerve and me. 

If in a long glide to earth you slide. 
Hold your grip on hope and your goat ! 

All will soon be right, 

And the future bright — 
Hold your grip on hope and your goat! 

Hold your grip on hope and your goat ! 
Hold your grip on hope and your goat ! 
All will soon be right, arid the future bright — 
Hold your grip on hope and your goat ! 



DARLING OF THE GODS \5 

Dutchman (looks at his watch) — It is time to go. 
(Sends the goat out of the room.) 

Wife — Here, Margaret, is you hat. (Gets the child's 
hat and puts it on.) 

Dutchman — We will be back by five o'clock. (Takes 
the child by the hand and leaves.) 

(The wife busies herself, dusting and arranging the 
furniture, and then answers the door bell, and invites a 
devil-laivyer to enter. The devil-lawyer has the appear- 
ance of a very respectable lawyer except that he has 
horns and misshapen feet somewhat resembling cloven 
feet.) 

Devil — Good afternoon, Mrs. Meyers, I called to see 
your husband about some legal matters. Is he at home? 

Wife — He has gone out and will be back at five o'clock. 

Devil — Then I shall have to call again. But look 
out of the window — there is Mr. Brown passing on the 
other side of the street. Isn't he a fine-looking man ? 

Wife — Yes, he is a friend of ours. He sat with us 
at the ball game last week. He was very nice and ex- 
plained all the plays to me. 

Devil — Yes, to be sure; and let me whisper a secret. 
A woman of your good looks could have such a man 
as that for a husband if she wanted him. 

Wife — Nonsense ! 

Devil — It is true — I'll swear it. How would you like 
to have him for a husband? 

Wife — I already have a husband. 

Devil — Yes, but why not get a better one ? 

Wife— I couldn't do that. 

Devil— My dear madam, in this part of the country 
any woman who wants another husband can get a 
divorce. You start a rumpus and get your husband 
to carry it on — any woman knows how to do that. A 



\6 THE DEMON AND THE 

small rumpus is all that is necessary; and then you en- 
gage some good lawyer like me. I present your case 
to the judge, and show him how your husband has 
abused you, slighted your affections, and injured your 
feelings, and that you can not live happily with him 
any longer. You put on your nicest dress and sweetest 
smile, or look poorly dressed and feeble (either one) — 
the judge sympathizes with you — you get your divorce, 
and then you are free. If your husband fights the case 
I can, if necessary, bring some of my relatives into 
court, and they will swear to anything I say. Why 
work, as you are doing now for this man, when you 
can get another husband who will give you everything 
you want and servants to wait on you? 

Wife — How much would that cost? 

Devil — My fee will be moderate, for you, I know, are 
not rich. Only one hundred dollars now and fifteen 
hundred after you marry again and have plenty of 
money. That is all you have to pay. The court will 
make your husband pay some too. 

Wife — How can I get the one hundred dollars? 

Devil — Ask your husband for a new dress and other 
things, and search his pockets. If then you are contrary 
after getting the money, he will feel ill-natured, and that 
will help the game along. 

Wife — Excuse me a few moments. (Leaves the room.) 

Devil (zvalks hack and forth and rubs his hands to- 
gether) — I am acting as the lawyer for the woman and 
for Brown both, and getting money from both. I only 
wish I could be the lawyer for the husband too! {Con- 
sults his notebook.) Let me see which of these three 
lots I had better buy. I'll go right down and make a 
part payment on Lot 17, and when I get some more 
money from Brown, I will make a part payment on 
Lot 27. When I win this case, I pay for both lots and 
make a part payment on Lot 30. That looks good to 
me ! If this city only keeps on growing I shall soon be 
rich. 



DARLING OF THE GODS 17 

(The curtain falls, and then rises showing the Dutch- 
man and the goat. The same scene. The Dutchman looks 
disconsolate and chants a song.) 

Dutchman — 

They took my cloak, they took my coat — 
What the lawyers leave is of Httle note! 

I lost name and fame — 

I lost child and dame — 
Lost all I had but my goat ! 

My mascot, what shall I do? That devil-lawyer stole 
my wife. The lawyers and the wife got all my money, 
and I have nothing left but you. I thought at first I 
had lost you too, but you came back. {Takes off the 
jacket of the goat.) An uncle of ours has to get your 
jacket, but when my luck changes, I will get you a new 
one. (Sits down and takes the head of the goat on his 
knees) Now, tell me, my mascot, what I shall do. 

(The Dutchman rises with a bright face.) 

My mascot "sets us all right"! He told me this! 
(Sings while he holds the jacket in one hand, and the 
goat rears.) 

If you are running lame in an uphill game, 
Just keep your nerve and me! 

The last may be first — 

You may win the purse — 
Just keep your nerve and me! 

If you lose your sails, or your motor fails. 
Just keep your nerve and me! 
If you have pluck 
You can change your luck ! 
Just keep your nerve and me ! 

That sets me right! In five years I have my five 
thousand dollars back and another wife ! 



18 THE DEMON AND THE 



ACT III. 

THE DOCTOR AND THE LAWYER AND THE DARLING OF THE 

GODS. 

The Dutchman and another wife of his are seated in 
another and better house of the Dutchman. The Dutch- 
man is caressing the goat. The goat has a new and 
better jacket. 

Dutchman — I would not part with my mascot for 
anything. Five years ago to-day, I said I would get 
my five thousand dollars back and another wife, and I 
did it. It was my mascot that helped me get you. 
ril tell my friend. Dr. Pillsbury, to get a goat. That 
will help him too. 

Wife — I don't believe that the doctor likes goats. 

Dutchman — He would love one if it brought him good 
luck. I'm just glad I lost my other wife — you are so 
much better. 

Wife — You are good to say so. 

Dutchman — If the law would let me, I would like to 
have two wives if they both were as good as you. 

Wife — Don't you do it. That would spoil everything. 

''Two women and one house, 
Two kitties and one mouse," 
can never agree. 

Dutchman — Well, don't worry, Rose. The law doesn't 
allow that yet. You and I will just be in clover here 
if I don't lose my money again. I wouldn't like to lose 
it, because that would spoil everything too. I found out 
from bitter experience that this is true, — 

When fortune smiles your friends smile too, 
When you drop your coin your friends drop you. 



DARLING OF THE GODS \9 

Wife — Don't worry about that, Oscar. You won't 
lose your money the second time. Lightning doesn't 
strike twice in the same place. Sing me one of your 
goat songs. 

Dutchman — There comes Dr. Pillsbury now. (After 
the salutations are over.) Doctor, you came just in 
time. My wife wants to hear a goat song. You sing 
better than I can. Show her how well you can sing 
"The Enemy's Goat." 

Doctor {bowing to the wife) — Very well. I will do 
my best to please the lady. {Goes to the front of the 
stage to sing.) 

The Ene^my's Goat. 

When the vim and zeal of your fierce attack 
Have beaten your foeman's bravest back. 

Then his valor dies — 

He feebly strives, 

And in your hand his pennant flies. 

Then you get his flag and me — 
Then you get his flag and me — 
With joyous cries you sieze the prize — 
Then you get his flag and me. 

When you strike a blow that makes them reel, 
And they shrink and cower beneath your steel, 

Then you with glee 

See the enemy flee — 
You win for you get me! 

You win for you get me! 
You win for you get me! 
With glee you see the enemy flee — 
You win for you get me! 



20 THE DEMON AND THE 

They lost for they lost me! 
They lost for they lost me ! 
They were forced to flee when in lack of me — 
They lost for they lost me! 

When you get the enemy's goat! 
When you get the enemy's goat! 
Naught else you see compares with me, 
When you get the enemy's goat ! 

When you get the enemy's goat! 
When you get the enemy's goat! 
Then all you see you get with me, 
When you get the enemy's goat! 

Wife — Thanks, Doctor. I like to hear you sing, 
and you must sing again for us some other time. 
Please excuse me now. (Bows and leaves.) 

Dutchman — People are not sick so much as they used 
to be. 

Doctor — No, they are not. The statistics show that, 
thanks to my efforts, there is a decided improvement 
in the health of this community. 

Dutchman — I am well, and yet I am in trouble. Can 
you help me. Doctor? 

Doctor — What is the trouble? 

Dutchman — It is that devil-lawyer. Five years ago, 
as you know, he stole my wife and five thousand dollars, 
and now he is trying to play me the same trick again. 

Doctor — He stole one of my wives once — that didn't 
matter much — I got another wife the next day. But 
if he is trying to get your money, that is serious. It 
seems natural for an educated devil to drop into the 
practice of law; and then, too, they are driving out 
the better class of lawyers. When we get a reform 
legislature, I am sure all that will be stopped. As it is 
now these devil-lawyers are skinning people alive, and 
the only chance the public has to get even with them 



DARLING OF THE GODS 21 

is through the doctors. He is a devil sure; but don't 
worry — I'm his doctor — I'll get his goat — I'll operate 
on him for appendicitis. 

Dutchman — He'll make me pay the bill! 

Doctor — Now, leave this to me and don't worry. He 
knows already that his appendix is affected, and I can 
fix him up nicely. Most devils have a very large 
appendix that is difficult to remove, and it is ten chances 
out of ten that the operation will not be successful. 

Dutchman — Do the best you can for me. Doctor. I'd 
hate to lose either my money or my wife again. 

Doctor — All right, I'll pull you through. He shall 
never say of you again, "Poor fellow ! He dropped into 
the sauer-kraut and was covered up with ashes." 

(The curtain falls, and then rises showing the doctor, 
Dutchman, devil-lawyer, and goat. The same scene.) 

Doctor (addressing the devil) — This operation is 
necessary to save your life — you die without it. A delay 
of a single day is dangerous. At any hour the disease 
may become acute, and then you would die in a short 
time. Chloroform makes the operation painless. Let 
me test your heart. (Tests the devil's heart.) 

My dear sir, I am obliged to inform you that we can 
not use the chloroform. 

Dm/— Why? 

Doctor — You have no heart. For a person without a 
heart to inhale chloroform is sure death. But science has 
more than one string for her bow — I can use a local 
anesthetic. (Speaks to the Dutchman.) We will be 
back soon. Good-by for five minutes. (Takes his 
instrument-case and goes with the devil into the next 
room.) 

Dutchman — Come here, Toney, my mascot. (Caresses 
the goat.) We hope that operation is not successful — 
don't we? He has been getting rich at our expense — 
hasn't he? He is trying to wreck our home again — 
isn't he ? If we get his goat he won't get ours — will he ? 



22 THE DEMON AND THE 

(In a minute the doctor rushes excitedly into the room, 
carrying a butcher knife in one hand and waving a 
carving fork over his head with the other.) 

Doctor (shouting) — ''Rejoice, all the world, — the devil 
is dead!" When he saw these, my instruments, he died 
of nervous prostration before I had a chance to operate ! 

Dutchman (falls on his knees, and hugs the goat, and 
laughs for joy) — I'm saved! I'm saved! My mascot 
saved me! 

(The curtain falls, and the doctor and the Dutchman 
sing in joyous tones from behind the curtain.) 

When you get the enemy's goat! 

When you get the enemy's goat! 
Then all you see you get with me. 

When you get the enemy's goat ! 
(The curtain rises showing the doctor, Dutchman, and 
rearing goat in line, facing the audience. The doctor 
and the Dutchman repeat the song. The Dutchman is 
excitedly joyous. The doctor is grave and holds the 
instrument-case only in his hand. Then the curtain falls, 
and they are heard singing the song as they march away.) 



ACT IV. 

THE BIBLE CLASS. 

Characters of the Social Problem Play in Acts IV and V. 

Edward, an American clerk employed in the office of a 
baggage-express company. 

Clara, the American wife of Edward. 

Mary, the daughter. 

Children. 

Grocers. 

Two devil-lawyers. 



The Darling of the Gods (The Mascot Goat.) 
(The clerk appears before the curtain to sing.) 



DARLING OF THE GODS 23 



The Democratic Goat and the Republican Goat 

AND THE Goat Getters. 

Bryan stole their goat in 'ninety-six, 
And his clan were mixed in a mighty fix- 
He had them blind with "a cross of gold," 
And they didn't know that they were sold— 
And they didn't know that they were sold. 

He eloped with me to Nebraska-farm, 
Where he petted me and kept from harm ; 
And I stayed in his fold till I grew old, 

For in his barn he me did hold — 

For in his barn he me did hold. 

The faithful mourned with moans and tears 

The loss of me for sixteen years — 

They suffered hunger, thirst, and cold, 
But the Bryan-barn was a mine of gold — 
But the Bryan-barn was a mine of gold — 

For don't you see that he got me ? 

The Teddy folks said it was sin 

For anyone but them to win. 

To win that nomination game, 

Was just the reason why they came — 
Was just the reason why they came. 

When a record bluff did not succeed. 
The Teddy folks made a wild stampede; 
They corralled me, for of me they had need. 
And sallied forth with the goat in the lead— 
And sallied forth with the goat in the lead. 

Teddy hung to my tail, but stubbed his toes, 
And fell in the ditch, and skinned his nose. 
His loss of skin was sad to see. 

For he "lost his grip," and then lost me— 
For he "lost his grip," and then lost me. 



24 THE DEMON AND THE 

The way was long, but I wandered on 

Till I fed on the grass of Wilson's lawn. 

On such a sight his eyes did gloat — 
Then Wilson got the Republican goat — 
Then Wilson got the Republican goat — 

For don't you see that he got me? 

Sce:nE I. — A ROOM IN the; home of the clerk. 

(A well-dressed child is playing on the floor. She has 
blocks, toys, and a new doll. The clerk is kneeling on 
the floor helping the child to make a high pile of the 
blocks. His wife is seated near.) 

Clerk — Isn't Mary growing fast! She is getting to 
be a great, big girl — growing almost as fast as this pile 
of blocks! Isn't that a high pile? {Mary topples the 
pile over, and they both laugh.) There it goes ! 

Mary — I can make a big, high pile alone. 

Clerk (rising) — See if you can't beat me. Where 
shall we go to-morrow afternoon, Clara? 

Wife — O, let's go to the beach where Mary can play 
in the sand. It will do her good. 

Clerk — Yes, and I will get her a little spade and a tin 
pail. That will make her happy. 

(A devil-lawyer enters having the appearance of an 
eminently respectable lawyer except that he has short 
horns. The wife rises.) 

Clerk — The devil-lawyer again! I thought Dr. Pills- 
bury had buried you. 

Devil — Not at all. That was my brother. 

Clerk — It seems that when you kill one devil, 'steen 
come to his funeral. 

Devil — It was always so. It always will be so as long 
as we have that privilege. I come to avenge my brother's 
death. 



DARLING OF THE GODS 25 

Wife (holding up her hands) — Lands alive! 

Devil — Be composed, madam. I am harmless. This 
is only a friendly chat. I called to see you because you 
are friends of the Dutchman. You know I reveal the 
past, the present, and the future. 

Wife — How do you do it? 

Devil — O, it comes natural. Let us be seated. (The 
wife takes a seat near her husband.) The past you know, 
and as for the present, I have turned missionary — a 
progressive missionary. 

Clerk — That is contrary to precedent. 

(The mascot goat comes in. The wife calls it, and 
keeps it near her.) 

Devil — This is a precedent-breaking age. I was one 
of the orginal progressives in the days of Adam and Eve. 
I'm just as progressive as the parsons. They make 
progress in one direction, and I make progress in the 
opposite direction. There is a difference of direction, 
but the idea is the same. Parsons and devils both — 
the live ones — keep up with the age. I myself keep a 
little — a few minutes — ahead of the age. 

Clerk — Vm afraid you are trying to get ahead of me. 

Devil — Not at all — not just at present. I was always 
a progressive. 1 have been a lawyer since the dawn of 
history, and now that I have added the arts of the 
missionary to my other accomplishments — that still 
shows progress. 

Clerk — You can't convert me. 

Devil — I am after nobler game. Some people call the 
packers and the oil-trust, the steel-trust, the harvester- 
trust, the tobacco-trust, the Board of Trade, and the 
Stock Exchange people, reactionaries. That is a mis- 
take. Such men are really progressives — after my own 
heart. Who can excell them in the gentle art of trans- 
ferring money from other people's pockets to their own ? 
I tell you they have made a science of their trade — they 
make progress — they hire shrewd lawyers — they are 
up-to-date. 



26 THE DEMON AND THE 

The real reactionaries are the common people and the 
small traders. They are dead weights. They shout and 
call themselves progressives, but do nothing. Progress 
is not a matter of sentiment, but of action. 

(The clerk and his wife rise.) 

Clerk — Yes, but I don't see how that makes you a 
missionary. 

Devil (rises) — My grand field of missionary effort — a 
field that is white to the harvest — is among these small 
traders, I intend to convert them all — to form them 
all into local trusts — to make them all progressives — 
after my own heart. Some 'steen thousands of my 
assistants will buzz this into the ear of every merchant 
in the land: You are an old fogy — you are not making 
the money you aught to— wake up — be progressive — 
learn this up-to-date motto of mine, Combination is the 
life of trade — see the money the big trusts are making — 
come, form a local trust. 

Some parsons make a thousand converts in a year — 
I will make a million. Soon I will have a big Bible 
Class; and when I do, many things will be avenged, 
many of my brethren will get good fees, and you and 
that Dutchman will need two mascots. (Bows politely 
and leaves,) 

Wife — These devil-lawyers are just terrible! 

Clerk — I am glad that he is not after us. 

Wife — I just believe he will convert the merchants, 
and set the merchants after us. 

Clerk — There is no way to stop him. Dr. Pillsbury 
says that this devil hasn't any appendix. 



DARLING OF THE GODS 27 



ScEjNK II. — A lawyer's office. 

(A devil-lawyer sits at his table, and a number of 
grocers are seated opposite him in Bible Class style.) 

Devil. — I do not suppose that anyone of you is in busi- 
ness for his health. If there should be such a one, let him 
signify it by raising his right hand. Not one? That is 
strange! If now anyone of you would like to double 
his profits, let him signify it by the same sign. Every 
hand raised? Unanimous vote! 

Now that we understand one another, we are in a 
position to come to business. You would like to double 
your profits, and so would everyone who has the chance, 
but most people haven't the chance. You are in a better 
position than they, for you can aflford to hire a good 
lawyer to give you good advice. If you are only wise 
enough to follow your lawyer's advice after you pay for 
it, your fortune is made. 

You have been fighting one another to get trade. Stop 
it. What one of you gains in such a fight another loses, 
and then you take your turn in being the loser. You 
are all engaged in the same trade. Treat your fellow 
merchant as a brother. Cease your fighting. Combine 
for your mutual interests. 

If you combine, and gradually increase your prices, 
you can charge high prices and still hold your trade, 
for the public will have no where else to go. The public 
can thus be educated to paying high prices. You can 
put everything on the consumer. He has to stand it. 

Get your children to figure out for you how much 
more money you can make by combination than by com- 
petition. A small increase in the selling price makes an 
astonishing increase in your profits, for your expenses 



28 THE DEMON AND THE 

remain the same. Your little school-girl can see that if 
you now make a profit of five cents a pound, and should 
increase your selling price by only five cents, you would 
double your profits. 

(The devil rises and passes two pictures to the grocers. 
The grocers examine the pictures in turn,) 

Devil — Look at these pictures. Take your time. Com- 
pare the pictures, and pass them along. The first pic- 
ture shows a cottage — an ordinary town cottage — you 
have seen thousands of them. The second picture shows 
a brownstone house. You now live in the cottage. It is 
your own fault that you do not live in the brownstone 
house. If you follow my advice, you can take your 
choice of a brownstone house in the city or a fine estate 
in the country; and some of you will have both. Most 
of you are middle-aged, and have passed your life in a 
struggle to get a start in business and a foothold in so- 
ciety. If you form a combination, your business and 
the position of your family in society will both be se- 
cure ; and you can start your sons in business without 
obliging them to go through the fierce struggle through 
which their father passed. 

I have another engagement now. Step into the next 
room, and talk the matter over among yourselves; and 
I want to see all of you here again next Thursday night 
at 8 :30. So endeth the reading of the lesson. 

(The devil bows to the grocers as they go into the next 
room, and after the door is closed he walks back and 
forth and rubs his hands together.) 

Devil— My first Bible Class! They are apt pupils. 
Soon I will have a dozen classes in this city, and then 
my profits will be more than doubled. 



DARLING OF THE GODS 29 



ACT V. 

THE people's goat. 

The wife and child are shown in another and poorer 
home of the clerk. The child is holding a broken doll, 
and both mother and child are dressed in poorer clothing. 
The clerk enters, and the child runs to him. He tosses 
the child into the air. 

Clerk — You must be a good girl, Mary, all day till 
I come back. See how much you can help mamma. Take 
your little broom and sweep the floor. 

Mary — I swept this floor all over yesterday. 

Clerk — That is good. See if you can sweep it better 
to-day. Soon you will be a big girl, and then you can 
help mamma make the beds. {Speaks to his wife.) 
This flat is not so comfortable as our old home, but we 
will get along. 

Wife — I have some bad news, Edward, to tell you 
before you go, but I didn't like to speak about it before 
breakfast. We may not be able to keep this flat. Our 
landlord has raised our rent ten dollars a month. 

Clerk — That is awful! 

Wife — 1 believe he gave us the cheaper rent for the 
first month just to get us in here. 

Clerk — That was a trick of his — but what can we do? 
If we tear up and pay the cost of moving, the next 
landlord might treat us the same way. 

I wonder when these raises will ever cease! They 
must cease soon or we won't be able to live. When I 
ate lunch yesterday, they charged me a dollar for two 
hard-boiled eggs. Those eggs tasted as though I were 
eating money, but I'll carry my lunch to-day. 



30 THE DEMON AND THE 

Wife — Yes, but the grocer charges me twenty-five 
cents apiece for eggs. Do you remember, Edward, what 
that devil-lawyer said ? I believe he has got every store- 
keeper in this town to join his Bible Class! 

Clerk — That is true of most of them, and yet every 
storekeeper swears that the big trusts are to blame. 

Wife — The big trusts and the little trusts all are to 
blame! They are all grafters! They are all getting 
rich by grafting! But the graft that makes one family 
rich makes many families poor! 

Clerk — If there were some way of regulating the 
trusts, they wouldn't hurt us. The trusts would reduce 
the cost of living if they would give the public half 
of what is saved by the combinations. But as long as 
the trust-folks charge as high prices as they please, we 
will be bled to death. The local trusts are the worst. 
Most of these are simply bloodthirsty schemes to raise 
prices without any economy in operation. That is what 
hurts. 

And then, the trusts are not the only ones that are 
getting rich at our expense. Do you remember the fees 
that the devil-lawyer talked about? His brethren must 
be getting rich organizing local trusts and giving them 
good advice. 

Wife — That devil is the cause of all our troubles. I'd 
like to get his goat ! We can never pay our bills unless 
I go to work in a restaurant. 

Clerk — No, don't do that. I will ask the boss for a 
raise. Well, good-by, pet, it is time to start for the office. 

(Kisses his wife and child, takes his lunch, and leaves.) 

The curtain falls, and then rises showing the wife at 
the front of the stage. She wears an apron and holds 
her child by the hand, and the child holds a broken doll. 
The wife sings.) 



DARLING OF THE GODS 31 



Th^ Pkople's Goat. 

When the Packers raised the price of meat, 
The hfe of your wife was made less sweet. 
Their graft was great, as you did note, 

For they stole your coin and got your goat — 
For they stole your coin and got your goat. 
The cries of the poor made a piteous plea. 
But they heeded not in their merry glee. 
How they did gloat o'er the people's goat. 
When they got your coin and your vote ! 

The butchers formed a local trust, 
For the price of meat was not high enough — 
They increased the graft two hundred per cent, 
And then to you their bill they sent — 
And then to you their bill they sent. 
They blamed it all on the Packers too — 
Their hands are clean — so they tell you — 
The graft increased all along the road 
Till it came to you, and you bore the load. 

Will you be good and bear the load, 
When the graft increased all along the road ? 

(The clerk enters, and the child runs to him. He kisses 
her and then holds her hand.) 

Clerk— C\2iT2L, the boss said that he couldn't afford 
to raise my wages now. They have raised his house 
rent fifty dollars, his office rent one hundred dollars, and 
his barn rent twenty-five dollars a month; and then he 
has to pay one hundred dollars a ton now for straw to 
feed his horses. He hasn't raised his price this year for 
delivering trunks, and says that, as for him, he will go 
out of business before he will join any Devil's Bible 
Class. 

l^ife — Then I must work in a restaurant. 

Clerk — I hate to see you do it, but with these high 
prices we will be turned out of house and home unless 
you do. 



32 THE DEMON AND THE 



(The curtain falls, and then rises showing the wife and 
child. Two washtubs are on a bench. A scrubbing board 
is in one tub, and a wringer is attached to the other tub. 
The wife is passing Chinese and Japanese clothes through 
the wringer, and letting them fall into a basket. She 
then hangs the clothes on a line stretched across the rear 
of the room.) 

Mary — Mama, fix my dolly's dress. It's torn most 

Wife — I can't do it to-day, dear. I'm too busy. 

Mary (turning away)— Mama doesn't love me any 
more. 

Wife — Sure, mama does love her baby! but I'm so 
busy! 

(The clerk enters.) 

Clerk — Why, Clara, are you washing on Sunday? and 
where in the world did you get those Chinese clothes? 

Wife — Sunday is the only time I have to wash now, 
and then I am taking in washing. I had to do it. The 
grocery bills are so high that we can never pay them 
unless I do. 

Clerk — Will there be no end to these higher and higher 
prices! If we had half a dozen children to support, I 
would go and jump into the sea! 

Wife — Would that help me any? 

Clerk — No, it wouldn't, and so I wouldn't do it. But 
I would feel that way. It costs so much to live, and 
things are getting so bad that something must break 
soon. 

Wife — We have some new neighbors on the next 
street. They are rich Japanese and Chinese. The Japs 
became rich by raising bunch vegetables, and the China- 
men by raising potatoes. They imitated the Americans 
and formed local trusts — a regular Celestial Bible class! 
They say that sometimes they made more money when 
they didn't gather their crops than when they did ; but 
I don't see how they could do that — do you ? 



DARLING OF THE GODS 33 



Clerk — Yes, I know how that was done. Some people 
paid for vegetables that they didn't get. 

Wife — That must be it. See the bill that the grocer 
sent me. Is it any wonder that I have to do the China- 
man's washing ? 

Clerk (reads the bill)—y2' lb. butter, $1.40; 1 lb. ap- 
ples, 30c; 3 lbs. sugar, 30c; ^ lb. loaf of bread, 25c; 
14 lb. boiled ham, $1.00; 1 beat, 20c. 

(Drops the bill and tears his hair.) That grocer be- 
longs to the Devil's Bible Class for sure ! We will have 
to live on sugar and water ! When I was a boy a woman 
was extravagant if she put too much sugar in her apples ; 
and now she is extravagant if she uses too many apples 
with her sugar! 

(The mascot goat comes in.) 

Clerk — Ah, our mascot. (Pets the goat.) Our good 
friend, the Dutchman, says that his mascot has helped 
him in all his troubles, and that ours will help us too. 

(The child plays with the goat.) 

Wife — We certainly are in a sea of trouble. Maybe 
we will need the two mascots that the devil-lawyer talked 
about. The government doesn't seem to be doing much 
to break up the Devil's Bible Class. 

Clerk (wearily) — No, nobody don't do nothing neither. 

Wife — Ask the President to do something to help us. 

Clerk — He is looking after the big trusts, and it is 
the little trusts that are bleeding us to death. The little 
trusts take a dollar out of your pocket where the big 
trusts would not have the unspeakable assurance to take 
more than ten cents. And then, there are so many little 
trusts ! They bleed me here, and there, and everywhere ! 
and they all say, **You won't notice it, and it means so 
much to us." Just as though a nickel were not worth 
more to me than to a member of the Bible Class ! 



34 THE DEMON AND THE 

Our butcher joined the Baptists just to get the church 
trade. He is a church member, takes up the collection, 
teaches a Sunday school class, and grafts on the Sunday 
school children. His partner plays the same kind of a 
game in the Presbyterian church. 

Wife — Yes, and I believe that on week days they both 
are local class leaders in the Devil's Bible Class ! They 
pretend to be friends and act like enemies ! The cost 
of living is getting higher and higher for us, while the 
storekeepers are getting richer and richer! They are 
building fine houses, and we are moving to a poor flat! 
We must get their goat, or they will get ours ! Ask con- 
gress to do something about it. 

Clerk — That wouldn't do any good, either. The con- 
stitution won't let congress meddle with the local trusts, 
and then few of these politicians want to use even their 
influence in our favor. For the local trusts are the 
friends and ''financial angels" of most of the big poli- 
ticians who pose as the champions of the people. The 
government and the big politicians with all of their 
cudgelling of the big trusts are only scratching the sur- 
face of things. They don't help me any. 

Wife — Then ask the governor, the legislature, and the 
mayor. 

Clerk (excitedly pacing the floor) — Useless ! — the local 
trusts and city clubs select most of these men, pay their 
nomination expenses, pay their election expenses, and 
then own them. This State is plastered over with local 
trusts. It is like a large animal covered with blood- 
suckers. When the animal became restless, the other 
bloodsuckers combined against a big one and threw it 
over so that they could continue to suck blood in peace. 
When the animal again became restless, they threw over 
as many of the little bloodsuckers as was necessary. 
Those that did the throwing-over were not working so 
much for the interests of the animal as for the highest 
good of the surviving bloodsuckers. 



DARLING OF THE GODS 35 

And so it is in the county and the city. To amuse 
the people, the officials after long delay inspect the 
milk when it comes into the city. Then, to please the 
local trusts, they let them doctor it after it is inspected. 
We should have just weight, full measure, pure food, 
good goods, and fair prices — but we don't. They pass 
laws about these things, and then the merchants see that 
so little money is appropriated, and so few inspectors 
are appointed, that the laws can not be enforced. The 
merchant classes and their allies rule the city and the 
state — rule in their own interests. 

What the officials do for the public amounts to so 
little that the cost of living keeps on increasing. These 
government, state, and city officials are mostly politicians ; 
and a politician is an officeholder who can make a great 
pretense of serving the people, and yet not offend the 
local trusts that put him in office. 

Wife — Then, we have nothing left but our mascot. 
(Runs to the goat and puts her arms about its neck 
and her head against its head.) Now, my mascot, tell 
me what to do. I have nothing left but you. (Rises 
with a bright face.) This is what my mascot told me, 
"Organize the women — they can save you!" 

Clerk — The mascot sets us all right! It is worth its 
weight in gold ! and you are my other mascot ! Dr. 
Pillsbury could not do it, but I know that the women 
can get that devil-lawyer's goat. 

Wife — Yes, and we will get the goat of every Devil's 
Bible Class in this city! When the women start after 
them, the grafters are lost! We may yet be free! 

(The clerk, his wife, and the child join hands and sing. 
The child holds its broken doll. The goat rears at the 
chorus.) 



36 THE DEMON AND THE 

If you are running lame in an uphill game, 
Just keep your nerve and me ! 

The last may be first — 

You may win the purse — 
Just keep your nerve and me ! 
If you lose your sails or your motor fails, 
Just keep your nerve and me! 

If you have pluck 

You can change your luck! 
Just keep your nerve and me ! 
If in a long glide to earth you slide, 
Just keep your nerve and me ! 

All will soon be right, 

And the future bright — 
Just keep your nerve and me! 

Hold your grip on hope and your goat! 
Hold your grip on hope and your goat! 
All will soon be right, and the future bright — 
Hold your grip on hope and your goat! 

(The curtain falls, (Md then rises, showing a line of 
poorly dressed little hoys and girls, who sing.) 

They Got the Children's Goat. 

The graft increased all along the road 
Till it came to us, and we bore the load ! 
Shall we be good and bear the load. 

When the graft increased all along the road? 

(The curtain falls and then rises, and the children 
repeat the song. The curtain falls, and then rises, show- 
ing the children dressed in bright clothing. The children 
sing, ''My County, 'Tis of Thee," and "Columbia, the 
Gem of the Ocean," or some other songs that express 
freedom or triumph. 

The End. 



DARLING OF THE GODS 3 7 



NOTES. 

ACT I. 

This act is a Farce and also an Allegory. A Dutchman 
of rather a dull type represents the public; the devil 
represents the evil, grafting spirit that animates the local 
trusts and all those who bleed the public; and the goat 
is the people's goat. In the first song, the trusts threaten 
to give the public a long period of plain living. The 
injury to the devil's fist indicates that the merchants, 
though temporarily successful, will not finally triumph 
in a battle with their own customers. 

The big stick of the national government has failed to 
have much efifect upon the local trusts, and the fist fight 
at close quarters has been indecisive with the advantage 
decidedly in favor of the merchants, but the contest is 
not yet ended. 

The public is supposed to exercise control over the 
trusts, and thus the devil obeys some unimportant orders 
of the Dutchman. 

Those that form the trusts are in theory the servants 
of the public, and thus the devil makes a pretense of 
aiding the Dutchman in his fight against the world, but 
ends in ridiculing him. 

The hypocritical spirit of the local trusts in putting all 
the blame on some one else, is shown by the remarks 
of the devil that precede and that follow the People's 
Goat song of Act I (see the People's Goat song of 
Act V). 

The story about the wax is not original, but it well 
indicates the avaricious spirit of the trust-folks. The 
plea of the merchants that the public owes all of them a 
living, and that they have a right to do in the future as 
they have done in the past, is another case of "Who has 
got 'my' wax?" 



38 THE DEMON AND THE 

The story about the goat illustrates the Donnybrook 
fights between the American Colonies, and the peace 
between the States after they became one nation. 

The disadvantage to the nation, caused by the lack 
of a continuous policy in dealing with competing nations, 
is indicated by the Dutchman's fighting against himself. 
The stupidity of the public in their useless divisions (as 
in dividing into warring factions at local elections in- 
stead of uniting to fight their common enemies) is also 
indicated. 

Once upon a time, an admiral, because he was abused 
by a mascot, banished all the mascots from his fleet. 
But the government interfered, for it considered that the 
mascots have a good influence upon the condition of 
the men. 

Sometimes a goat is kept as a companion in the stall 
of a race horse, and the horse in time becomes attached 
to the goat. If the goat is stolen shortly before a race, 
the horse misses his little companion, becomes irritated 
and nervous, and is not in good condition for the race. 
This is said to be the origin of the common expression, 
"He got your goat." 

The conclusion of the Farce represents figuratively the 
present condition of the public. 



ACTS II AND III. 

These acts form a Comedy and also an Allegory. The 
conclusion of the Comedy represents figuratively the 
hoped-for condition of the public. 

The devil-lawyer represents the lawyers that framed 
the organizations of the trust-folks on unscrupulous 
lines. In the play as a whole, the devil represents the 
evil, grafting spirit that made the unscrupulous trust 
lawyers, half-devils, and that makes the local trusts half- 
devilish now. 



DARLING OF THE GODS 39 

The trust-folks should be the servants of the public; 
but a trust prefers to consider that its relations to the 
public are those of a partner (the better half), and it 
tries to act as the master. Therefore the wives of the 
Dutchman are considered to represent the trust-folks. 
The first wife is beguiled by the serpent (the devil-law- 
yer that frames the organizations of the trusts and gives 
them good advice) into forgetfulness of her obligations 
to the Dutchman. This wife after her desertion repre- 
sents the trust-folks after competition has ceased, and 
the trusts, guided by their lawyers, have fixed prices to 
suit themselves, and repudiated all their obligations to 
the public. The second wife represents the trust-folks 
after prices are regulated by the national, state, town, 
and city governments (a condition not yet realized). 
She is tempted by the evil one, but is not forgetful of 
her obligations. 

The doctor who gets the devil's goat has not yet ap- 
peared in the world drama, but he is being anxiously 
awaited. That part may be taken by org^ized women. 
The conclusion of the Social Problem Play expresses 
this hope. 



ACTS IV AND V. 

These acts form a Social Problem Play for which the 
Farce and the Comedy are an introduction and a prepa- 
ration. 

In these acts, the Devil's Bible Class represents the 
trusts in an unrestrained condition, when competition 
has ceased, and the trusts fix prices to suit themselves. 
In the old days merchants sometimes lost money by their 
competitions — fighting like McCarty's boys. In the pres- 
ent age most merchants have learned to treat their 
brother merchants as they would that other merchants 
should treat them — they have learned the Golde^n Rulk 
— they have formed a Bible Class — they are now har- 
moniously engaged in sucking blood from the public. 



40 THE DEMON AND THE 

The prices given in these acts are higher than those 
demanded now ; but, unless the rapacity of the local 
trusts (merchants chiefly) is checked, even these prices 
may be exceeded. We have traveled fast in that direc- 
tion. 

In Act II, the devil tempts the woman. In Act IV, a 
'^good" lawyer gives "good advice" to the grocers. These 
two scenes express the same idea in different ways. 

Many of the men who are part and parcel of a big 
or a little trust were once good men, and posed as good 
men even while engaged in the business of bleeding the 
public. The explanation would seem to run like this : 

Prejudice darkens the intellect, warps the judgment, 
and twists the conscience. This is why it is usually 
useless to argue with a man about his own party, his 
own church, or his own country. Also, many a man 
is prejudiced in favor of his own pocketbook. In other 
words, his pocket-nerve is abnormally developed into 
a controlling influence. 

In the old days when Competition was the life of 
trade, good business men got all the trade they could 
at the expense of their competitors. When their com- 
petitors failed, it was considered that such men had 
missed their calling, and that it was for the benefit of 
the public that those who could not sell good goods at 
cheap prices should seek some other occupation. Also, 
good business men, when they had the chance, sold 
their goods at high prices. The goods belonged to 
them, and they considered that they had the right to 
sell those goods at the highest market price. 

When the merchants, manufacturers, and railroad 
companies found that more money was to be made 
by combination than by competition, then to a very great 
extent competition ceased, and Combination became the 
life of trade. What was allowable under competitive 
conditions became a graft under trust conditions. Many 
otherwise good men in both large and small trusts failed 
to observe this distinction. They were blinded by their 
prejudices in favor of their own pocketbook. 



DARLING OF THE GODS jj_ 

And then, there are local trust-folks by the thousands 
who have become intoxicated with easy money — half 
devilish in their thirst for blood. 

The local trusts through their advertisements control 
the most of even those newspapers that make a specialty 
of acting as the champions of the people. When the 
local trusts see that something must be done to quiet 
the public, they then let the newspapers and local offi- 
cials make a great flourish of trumpets over some minor 
reforms that have been made as the result of their 
activities in the cause of the people; but the great bulk 
of the grafting goes on unchecked — not even challenged. 

The big trusts controlled large amounts of money, 
the local trusts control more. The big trusts controlled 
few votes, the local trusts control many votes. The 
big trusts tried to control the national government, and 
failed; the local trusts have succeeded in controlling the 
most of the state, county and city officials in all the 
Northern States. The big trusts have been cudgelled, 
the local trusts have hardly been touched. A big stick 
scared the big trusts, a club of steel will be required 
for the local trusts. 

The power of the local trusts is tremendous. They 
can make and destroy Presidents, Governors, and Mayors 
— nothing but a woman will scare them. Because it is 
more widespread and insidious, the money of the local 
trusts as used in elections is more pernicious than the 
money of the big trusts has ever been accused of being. 
It is money that makes the political mare go, and these 
local trust-folks furnish most of the money. In theory, 
the officials are the servants of the people. In fact, 
the people will continue to be the servants of their own 
servants until the money that runs the nominations and 
elections is furnished by the people, and not by the local 
trusts. 

The money and political influence of the merchants 
as a class have been so unscrupulously used in the forma- 
tion and protection of local trusts that no merchant should 



42 THE DEMON AND THE 

be allowed to give or to use money to influence the po- 
litical fortune of any party, faction, or individual, or to 
influence legislation. 

If a group of merchants agree with one another to 
maintain prices, that group of merchants, whether the 
agreement is written or verbal or simply an understand- 
ing, is practically a trust ; and it is here considered to be 
a local trust (a Devil's Bible Class). It is, in effect, 
a combination to eliminate competition, to maintain 
prices, and to bleed the public. 

When a trust, big or little, (that is not restrained by 
effective competition) fixes prices to suit itself, that is 
graft. The trust-folks, consciously or unconsciously, fix 
prices in their own favor. So would you if you were in 
their place. So would most people if they had the op- 
portunity. 

Roosevelt with his big stick was the originial cudgeller 
of the trusts. Taft then wielded the big stick still more 
effectively. Wilson promises to distance all competition 
in this exercise. But this cudgelling of the big trusts 
has not yet lowered the cost of living, and it offers no 
such promise for the future. If a big trust is divided, 
and each of the smaller trusts thus formed raises its 
prices, that does not lower the cost of living very much. 

There is now no law that prevents merchants and 
industrial trusts from raising prices as much as they 
please, provided there is no agreement or conspiracy. 
No agreement is necessary. The merchants and trusts 
can watch the prices of their chief competitor, and then 
make the same prices. If the national government should 
regulate the prices of the big trusts as it now regulates 
freight rates, and if the state, county, town and city gov- 
ernments should similarly regulate the local trusts, — then 
the trusts could not charge excessive prices without vio- 
lating the law — then the cost of living would be reduced. 

General Note: — The principal idea in the production 
of this work was not the writing of a successful play, but 
the presentation of certain ideas in the most forcible way. 



DARLING OF THE GODS 



43 



The children were introduced to make the drama as 
published in book form more natural and forceful; for 
children are important characters in the world drama. 
The appearance of children in private theatricals is not 
objectionable, but their appearance on the stage is fre- 
quently objectionable or illegal. In the stage drama, 
talking motion pictures might be used for the por- 
tions in which the appearance of children is desirable, 
and also for the introduction of additional interesting 
features. Otherwise the children's parts may be omitted, 
the company as a whole singing, at the conclusion of 
the play, ''My Country, 'Tis of Thee." 

Those who wish to exercise a fanciful imagination 
may consider that Margaret (a pearl) represents the 
Philippines, and that Mary (bitter; otherwise, star of 
the seai represents Puerto Rico. 




AUG U 19iS 




